Finishing Well

Posted at 9:07 am on Dec 1, 09 by Michael Hearn.

Seven Reasons Why Marriages Fail December 1, 2009 by Perry Noble

We finished up our singles series on Sunday…it lasted five weeks, but I felt like I could have taught for 15 more.  I am so desperate to see the covenant of marriage taken seriously by the church and I pray that teenagers and 20 somethings will be the generation that really does begin to see as God sees when it comes to this issue.
I hate seeing marriages fall apart…it’s NEVER pretty…EVER.  Today I wanted to share seven reasons why marriages fall apart…
#1 – The Couple Takes The Commitment Too Lightly – Whenever a couple enters into marriage thinking, “well, if this doesn’t work out then I will just…” there is a good shot that the marriage isn’t going to make it.  We need to stop planning for our divorce before the ceremony actually takes place!!!  When the vows take place…those aren’t words that should be taken lightly…but rather a promise before a Holy and Awesome God that should be prayed through and thought about…A LOT!
#2 – Compromise Is The Foundation – When a person feels like they are not getting God’s best…but convinces themselves that, with a little time, the other person can be shaped up…there’s trouble.  Jesus leads us…but never to compromise.  (BTW…if he/she is asking you to compromise before marriage…their pursuit PROBABLY isn’t Jesus but rather getting you out of your clothes!)
#3 – Unrealistic Expectations – I know people that once thought, “once I get married I will be happy!” And…they’re not happy!  Too many couples go into marriage thinking that somehow the other person is going to fill a void that only JESUS could fill…this is dangerous!  (BTW…ladies, “he” is not going to make you happy, if you aren’t happy now you are going to CRUSH him when he can’t fulfill your desire.  And dude…”she” is NOT going to have sex with you all of the time…she’s a woman with a heart and a soul, not a sex toy that should be available at your desire!!!)
#4 – Bad Counsel – It’s sad…but in America today there are more people who will buy into what a talk show host who has never been married says about the subject than what the Scriptures say!  OR…instead of seeking godly counsel when the marriage is in trouble they will surround themselves with people who will affirm their dysfunctional ideas rather than call them out.  When we refuse to seek what Jesus says on an issue…it’s NOT going to go well.
#5 – Selfishness – Whenever a person believes the marriage is all about “getting my needs met,” it’s over!!!  Marriage is NOT someone else’s service opportunity but rather OUR opportunity to serve our spouse.
#6 – Laziness – Couples date before marriage…and stop doing so soon after the ceremony!  Marriage takes WORK!  I am SO guilty of being lazy at times…giving my best at work and then coming home and expecting Lucretia to be content with the leftovers.  SHE’S NOT!  That is why DATING after marriage is WAY MORE IMPORTANT than dating before the marriage!  If a man stops pursuing…and the woman stops responding…that spells trouble!!!
#7 – No Communication – It BLOWS MY MIND the couples that will talk ABOUT one another…but not TO one another.  If a couple wants to see success in marriage then they MUST be willing to have serious, heart to heart conversations…even when it’s hard!!!